I find myself fascinated with the impact of sin in the life of a believer. While most individuals would not consider themselves perfect it is nevertheless understood that we are called to live a life of holiness. As such we all strive to remain unspotted from the world. We are told “no one who is born of God will continue to sin” (1 John 3:9 NIV). As such it is devastating when we find ourselves entangled in sin. We are flooded like the psalmist with a wave of emotions and in our own words we cry “have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night” (Psalm 51:1-3 NIV). While there is a deep sense of guilt and remorse surrounding our failures it has become apparent that what we mourn is not only failure, but we also mourn the loss of who we thought we were.
Who Am I?
We mourn the loss of identity. Let me explain. We all have expectations of ourselves and believe we would or would not do a particular action. When we find ourselves in a position where we gave into temptation or succumbed to a weakness, the image we had of ourselves can often shatter. We are left picking up the pieces and trying to come to terms with what does this mean. Were we ever saved? Were we ever “a good person”, or “a good Christian”. Inevitably we spiral into damaging thoughts due to our disappointment in ourselves. We feel guilty and ashamed that we “let the Lord down”, and we also feel a sense of loss of identity and often wonder asking ourselves, “who am I if I am failing in this area”. We at times are uncertain of our next move. We are unsure of how to act because the image we had of ourselves is destroyed. Sometimes we stop praying, stop fasting, stop reading the word. Other times we stop attending church all together believing we are not “ready” and no longer in a position to live up to the standard. The expectations we had for ourselves are crumbled beneath the weight of our sin and guilt.
How To Bounce Back
How do we come to terms with our failures? How do we bounce back? How do we regain a sense of self and our identity? I think it is important to remember this fact, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8-9 NLT). The text provides us with clarity regarding our position in Christ which can prevent us from spiraling into despair. We must understand and ground our thoughts in the word of God and not our feelings. The word explicitly tells us that, before we found Christ and before we were baptized becoming a born-again believer Christ died for our sins and redeemed us. That is powerful! Christ did not wait for us to “get it right” or to live in a perfect manner. He died for sins while we were still in sin, while we were still doing wrong and the thought of being born-again had not yet crossed our minds. Now that we are in Christ, “if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous” (1 John 2:1 NIV). This is the beauty of salvation. Amazingly God factored in everything! This is why it is important for our expectations to be aligned with scripture, to overcome sin and the weight of its guilt.
Everyone Struggles!
We are not the only ones who struggle. Apostle Paul tells us this about himself, he says “I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate (Romans 7:15 NLT). The expectation we must live a perfect life is not a bad one, but it should be tempered against reality which means we may relent at times, but we should never give up. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39 NIV).
You Can Recover
The Love of God is stronger than our sin! Let us rest in his love as we make every effort to live a life pleasing unto him. If you stopped reading your bible pick it back up and begin to read again. If you stopped attending church, begin attending once more. You are beloved of the father. Set your affections on him. You can bounce back, and your identity is not lost. You are a child of God.