In 2015 I suffered a devastating breakup. I was surprised to find I was not spiraling out of control as I  imagined I would. Many individuals started reaching out to me sharing their experiences, and each one left me feeling  more distraught because I realized there was no community that addressed issues single Christians faced. No one was speaking openly on how challenging it is to love your ex as a brother/sister in Christ and divorce oneself of all romantic feelings while battling the feelings of bitterness, and in some cases rage and anger.

Who was there to guide us as we navigate through these feelings? Where could we turn to for support having to deal with the frustration of countless brethren (though they mean well) continuously ask at each encounter. “When is it your turn? “When you gonna make me eat some Cake?” Etc. We are expected to pick up the pieces of our hearts and move on as though the breakup had no serious impact.

Another discovery I made following this break up is how many single Christians had an incorrect view of marriage and how many had unrealistic expectations of their partner. Everyone wanted things their way and no one was willing to address the various nuances that occur in relationships. We had become indoctrinated with Hollywood’s standards for dating and love. We were no longer seeking a love the bible outlines.

I began by posting random thoughts on Facebook that I heard singles expressed in order to foster conversation; and would you believe I was told I looked desperate. Though the comments caused me to feel discouraged, I pushed through. I chose not to let the burden I had for others be overshadowed by the negative comments and uniformed opinions of the naysayer.